The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize