I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
