I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize