So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
