Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
