I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
