you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
