Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
