gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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