East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
