She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sorry my hands just texted you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
