i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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