Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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