come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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