I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
