I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
