you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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