erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
