they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
