No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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