I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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