he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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