I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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