He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
