There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
