Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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