I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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