He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize