Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
