you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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