You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
