If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize