Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
