Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
