He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
