you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
only you would photoshop your dick
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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