FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
