Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
