Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize