you guys were way drunker than both of me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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