Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
