She is in my trunk
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
