Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
