i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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