I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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