I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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