he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
