Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
