Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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