So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
