i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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