We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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