Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
