3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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