We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize