David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
