My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
