Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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