If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
