he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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