remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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