I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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