I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
