I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
