physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
