if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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