Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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