he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
