Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i think i have two assholes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
