Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Every concussion has its silver lining
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
