Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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